6 Reasons Orange is the New Black…is my Life!

My husband and I just started watching Orange is the New Black. I know, I know…we are late to the game. But we like to binge watch. So, we wait for a show to have been out for a while and then we start watching. Plus it allows other people to be the test dummies of the show and then if it really is good, we start watching.

While watching last night I realized, this is my life! OMG I am an inmate. How is this my life? Let me explain.


Bathroom time
I can not remember the last time I was able to go to the bathroom not only alone, but with the door closed. True there is no one speaking to the devil in the stall next to me…but for some reason when I try and go potty that is when all hell breaks lose in my house! When I watched Chapman find a victorious moment to use it alone, I knew the feeling!

Never Alone
Sometimes you just want a moment or two alone. When you are a mommy, this doesn’t happen. Chapman is never alone, not in the shower, not at night, not while sleeping…never. I remember life before kids, it’s blurry but I remember it. I would come home from work before my husband and I would enjoy an hour or so alone in the house before he came home. It was glorious! Now, I leave work and pick up the girls…and we all enter the house together. Alone time is a thing of the past. I get it Chapman…solitude is looking better and better some days!

Interrupted Sleep
Anyone that is thinking about having a child should sleep in a prison for a few nights. Having a baby is like being bunked with a cell mate that has night mares…every 3 hours! They wake up screaming their head off.

Prison Food
They keep complaining about the food on the show, but every time I see them eating I think…wait we had that for dinner last night! Yesterday, on the show, they had spaghetti…come on, you can’t mess up spaghetti! That’s a favorite in our house…Macaroni Monday! Before kids, we would enjoy elaborate meals that took longer then 20 minutes to prepare. Now, it seems my style of cooking resembles that of prison food…meat loaf, fish sticks, pasta, quesadillas. This is probably why Hello Fresh is so important to me…it saves me from having to eat with the inmates!

Give the inmates yoga pants and a TShirt…might as well be my mommy uniform. Little make up, hair a mess, and uneventful looking clothes. The only time I get to dress nice is to go to work. But as soon as I enter the door to my house, the uniform is on…hands covered in chocolate or marker are not “Work Clothes Friendly”!

They’re Family
One of the things about the show that is cool to see is the relationships between everyone. Kind of like one huge disgruntled family! You have the crazy ones, the ambitious ones, the rude ones, the selfish ones, the ones in charge, and the ones that have no idea what is going on! But in the end, they are one big family. And so are we…sticky hands and all.

I have gotten so used to my life as a mom that I really don’t notice the way things have changed until I see it projected on my t.v. screen. There are moments that I want to break out and run far away…but I know I would come back. My family is my life, my sanity, and my prison…but in the best way possible! Sometimes losing certain freedoms makes you appreciate the little things that much more. And I don’t take things for granted the way I did before having kids. So as we watch Orange is the New Black, I chuckle to myself and think…man I gotta get myself an orange TShirt and yoga pants!

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